Having That "Aha!" Moment

Introducing New Guest Blogger:
Brent Farley, Jr.

I am the proud father of two beautiful girls and the lucky husband of a beautiful wife. Along with my three girls, we also have a female dog and a female cat. Needless to say, I am surrounded by females! This wasn't the picture I had in mind when I dreamt about being surrounded by females! Anyway, I am one lucky guy.

Being surrounded by females, I believe I am qualified to make this next statement. As my wife has gotten more involved with Our Milk Money and BizEMOMS, I assumed this was another women's get together where they talk about girl stuff, gossip and complain. My wife leaves me home every now and then with the kids as she attends her monthly meeting. I've never asked what they talk about, fearing I'd get the full story on what is going on in all the ladies lives. Believe me, I don't need to hear it!

In my ignorance, my wife has given me room to perfect it! And I must confess, I was 100% completely wrong about these two organizations. (Yes honey, once again you are correct).

I attended my first event this past Saturday. Without complaining and keeping my mouth shut, we drove to Arizona State University (an hour drive from our house) to help put a float together that was going to be in the ASU homecoming parade. Little did I know, I was ready for a change in attitude.

The float was for the Buddy Walk, the number one fundraiser for the Down Syndrome Network. As I stood watching this float being decorated, I watched as a three year old kid climbed on everyones back, wanting a piggy back ride. As he approached me, he held out his arms and wanted me to pick him up. I reached for this child with Down Syndrome and my life changed. A child who didn't know me laid his head on my shoulder and loved on me! I didn't know what to do so I started rubbing his back. Patting his back. His father stood by our side and watched as I melted, thinking I need to get involved with this organization! I need to refocus my energy, and instead of solely working to make money and pad my wallet, my family can spend time helping others. We have made a commitment to think outside the walls of our home, and spend more energy helping others. This child changed my thinking. Little will he ever know, or probably even his father the impact his child has had on me. And if he can change me, he can change the world!

I was told I have had an "aha" moment, when a husband realizes that the Our Milk Money and the BizEMOMs group isn't a gossip group, or a women's tea session. They are organizations that want to make a difference in the world we live in. And they have been successful.

If you are a husband who has his wife take off to a meeting once a month, I invite you to have your own "aha" moment. A time in your life when you realize there are people in this world, no matter how small or how young, no matter what disabilities they may have, that have the power to change your life!


Brent Farley, Jr. , ECC, DCC is the Operations Manager at SWPPP Inspector. He can be reached at (480) 226-6532 or by emailing: brentfarley@desertservices.net Did you know...SWPP Solutions, LLC. has joined Desert Services? Now you can get your Dust Control, High Pressure Cleaning, Porta Johns, Roll Off Containers, Street Sweeping, Temporary Fence and your SWPP work done... ALL IN ONE PHONE CALL! One more reason why we are "The Ultimate in Construction Services"

My Father, The Financial Genius

Written by Guest Blogger, Chris Mancini

Let’s face it, it hasn’t been a good year for the dollar. From being gouged at the gas pump to the financial markets all put collapsing, it makes me want to go into a large corporation at random and punch a CEO right in the face and then smother him with an actual golden parachute.

Then when you have kids, every time there is a food price increase due to higher fuel costs, it hits you exponentially. But there’s all that money you’ve put away for retirement, right? Right?

I work free-lance. I don’t really have a 401K. My wife, however, is a normal person. She does. Or, she did. Before our eyes we saw our balance that we… I mean my wife, worked very hard for years and year so it would hopefully grow into something we could use when we retired. Or at least blow on something stupid like a yacht painted with the slogan “Gas, Grass or Ass, No One Rides for Free”.

My wife and I knew very little about money and the “markets”, “401Ks” and “investing.” We really didn’t. So we learned the hard way, by making mistakes. Not a good way to learn.

Our generation learned nothing about money from our parents. “Put money in a savings account” was the long and short of our financial planning advice. I remember once my father asked me what a stock option was. Then I told him. He looked at me like I just tried to explain quantum physics.

But then I asked my father how his pension was doing. “Fine” he replied. “I don’t trust the stock market so all my money was in fixed.” Whoah. Stop right there. It was the wisest thing my father had ever said. That wily, wily son of a gun.

Obviously now this whole “knowing nothing” about money and the economy was all a ruse. My father was a financial genius and saw this coming a mile away. His money wasn’t in the market. He was safe. And since he’ll be retiring soon, he doesn’t have to worry about working another 100 years, like the rest of us. This of course made me both impressed and resentful.

But who do you turn to? Financial planners? They are nothing more than glorified bookies. We had one that was so moronic he actually got us into more debt. Thanks, I could have done that myself and saved $500.

So we had to learn about money on our own. But more importantly we have to teach our kids about money. We just have to. Things are too complicated and unstable. They have to know. Right after they get their $5.00 allowance tell them if they hold on to it for a year and keep it in the market then they’ll only have to pay capital gains taxes on it. Their response will probably be “But I just want to buy candy” which is certainly valid as well.

Recently our 401K (I can say “our”, we’re married) went down to a 30% loss. At least that’s something. Right now all you can hope for is a smaller negative number. But when my father comes to visit this Christmas, he’s buying.

Chris Mancini is a comedian and author. His first book “My Life is Over, A Handbook for the Freaked-Out New Dad” will be out next father’s day.

http://www.daddyneedssomealonetime.blogspot.com/

The Truth Behind the Mask

By Ally Loprete

They call me “supermom”.

That is because I am a mom, and I have super powers. How else would I be able to manage the chaos in my life and handle everything with a smile on my face without breaking a sweat?
Don’t believe me?

See for yourself: I have a very demanding 2 year old, and another on the way. I am the co-founder of a national organization that caters to 4500 recipients in 80 cities nationwide, and the CEO of a handmade jewelry company that I design and create. I am a leader, a motivator and a people mover, giving public seminars, volunteering to teach improvisation to inner city children, planning community events, writing guest blogs and articles to over 25 news sites, not including my own. I participate in my son’s pre-school twice a week, teach musical theatre and performance to 9 year old girls at a local dance studio, and still find time to run a household, go grocery shopping, prepare 3 meals a day and sleep. I do not have a nanny, rely on daycare, nor do I have any family close by (or even in the same state for that matter) to rescue me or my schedule.

That is why I am known as “supermom”.

But like any superhero, I have a secret identity. Behind the mask is a woman who struggles to maintain the balance of it all, has broken down on more than one occasion, exploded with Niagara Falls, water works hysterics, has turned to one too many bottles of wine in the middle of the day, screams at her husband “how DARE you ask me if you can hang out with the guys tonight???” and has made several “parenting” mistakes such as putting off a dirty diaper change to finish a blog- which resulted in a diaper rash for her infant son. Even as a superhero, I wonder how others are able to pull it off.
Look closer.
Is anyone really pulling it off?
What is this term, “supermom” really doing to our society? Does the term inspire, or intimidate? Does it put added pressure on the women of today that are trying to do it all?
The truth is I am no supermom.
I don’t have any super powers, and I certainly have a breaking point. The more women I speak to, the more I realize we are all very similar. Mothers today are simply amazing- but then again we HAVE to be. Of the women that I know that are working full time- or even part time- and raising a family and maintaining a household, none of them are doing it just because it’s fun for them, and they were looking for MORE in their lives. Most of us are doing it because it’s what is necessary for our families to survive in today’s world. Our families need us to try and bring in a supplemental income because one income is not enough from our husbands- not even those with college degrees and higher educations. It’s not their fault, and we certainly don’t blame them. It’s just the way it is these days.
Before you choose to let someone who seems to be able to do it all overawe you and minimize what you know you are capable of doing, LOOK CLOSER.
If there are days that you feel you are barely staying afloat, take a moment and look at the others in your very same pool treading water. Perhaps they are looking at YOU and wondering how you got YOUR superpowers. All the things that you accomplished today? You seem pretty amazing to me. I’d love to know your secret…
…or your secret identity. I think I might relate better to the woman behind the mask. The real person who falls down often, forgets to eat, lets the laundry pile up, and cries from the overwhelm. It feels better to unveil myself, come clean that I am not actually able to “pull it off” and laugh about it with others who often feel the same way I do. It’s a relief to know I don’t have to save the planet all on my own.
Again.
and again.
and again.

George

Written by Guest Blogger James C. Ferguson

Is it just me or is Curious George kind of an asshole?

Whenever my toddler brings me one of her numerous Curious George books, of course I’m always happy to indulge her; I want her to learn how to read and white and communicate, you know, good. I make a point to read her anything that she brings me: “Wonton Soup,” “jury summons,” “Anderson Bruford Wakeman Howe—How did you find that old chestnut?” More often than not, my daughter’s reading preferences tilt towards a tall, lanky man in a bright yellow hat and his mischievous simian companion.
Some might even say “curious.”
But is he? Really? Or is he just a brat? (A brat who, amazingly, never seems to get his comeuppance.)
“He’s a literary icon,” you say. “You can’t come down against Curious George!”
I disagree; I think that if I saw a child do some of the things George does out in the “real” world, I’d want to drop kick him like the hard drive for my stupid computer (which, as I type this, is an overpriced doorstop that I can’t re-gift).
“But he’s just acting like any normal, ordinary, two-dimensional, multimillion dollar franchise child,” you say. And I agree. Because what you’re essentially saying with that statement is, “He’s acting out.”
And I don’t think it’s fair. My job as a parent is tough enough, man. Of course kids like Curious George because he gets to do all the things that they cannot. He gets to act out ... without repercussions! I don’t need some irresponsible simian encouraging my toddler to do things she isn’t supposed to be doing. And I certainly don’t need said simian reinforcing the idea that after a particularly irresponsible action, everything is going to be fine, we’ll share a laugh and the sky is going to rain gumdrops. Why haven’t they published Curious George Gets A Time Out? Or Curious George Goes To Bed Without Reading Himself? Or Curious George Sneaks Into An Abandoned Nuclear Power Plant and Makes Himself Infertile?
I can hear your response: “You’re overreacting,” you say. Or maybe, “You’re making too much of this. You’ve got issues. See someone.”
“Do you have any idea how many of these stories they’ve published?” I counter. On Wikipedia, I count fifty-eight. That’s exactly fifty-six more than my wife and I. They outnumber us by, well—a lot. Those books are like the monsters in Aliens, or the Huns, or Mondays: they just keep coming and coming and coming. They’re unstoppable. We have to protect ourselves; we have to do whatever we can.
Then again, as much as it pleases my cynical side to beat up on a character that brings joy to millions of children around the globe, there was a moment at the playground the other day that made me reconsider my position.
The word “hellion” springs to mind. A mother sat reading as her child—who couldn’t have been more than two—played in the sand. Except that he wasn’t playing in the sand, he was throwing it. At people. Dogs. Other children. Himself. And between throws, he would return to his mother, not for a hug, or a “hello,” but to rip pages out of her book. Shredding them. Eating them. And what was the mother doing? Nothing. Well … she was reading. (How, I have no idea.) But was she doing anything to restrain, discourage or curtail her three-dimensional monster’s excessively aggressive mischievousness? No. And this is the kicker, ladies and gentlemen: guess what she was wearing. “A hat?” you say. Well, no, actually … She was wearing a scarf. But it was yellow! Mostly. Partially. Sort of.
This made me think that maybe I haven’t been looking at the big picture. Maybe I need to take a step back.
Insomuch as it is the job of my wife and I to nurture and protect our toddler, perhaps George’s mischievous behavior can be attributed to a certain fellow with a jaundice-colored sombrero. As my wife oh-so-wisely observed a few weeks ago: “Who the hell brings a monkey to a baseball game?” Or the ballet. Or a library. Or anywhere that doesn’t have bars and a padlock. Who is this mysterious “man with the yellow hat” and why is he such an irresponsible guardian?
Have I been missing the entire point of these stories?
Are Curious George’s adventures … not really about Curious George? Are they, in fact, a plea to parents to not be like the man in the yellow hat? Are we to learn from his poor—nay, dreadful—example? Is it up to us to fill in the times outs and the repercussions?
Maybe this George character is cleverer than I thought. I think there may actually be a method to his mischievousness. Does that mean—
Ah … My time here seems to have come to an abrupt end. My toddler is prodding my kidney with a book. “What title have you brought me now, my darling? Let’s see … Curious George and the Hot Air Balloon.”
A hot air balloon???
Who the hell brings a monkey up in a freakin’ hot air balloon??



James C. Ferguson is an author, playwright and screenwriter living in Los Angeles with his wife, daughter and a dead plant that should probably be thrown away. His novel, Context Clues, is available on Amazon.com. And his film, Happy Holidays, will be available this winter. (Look for info. on MySpace and Facebook.)

NYC- Falling In Love (Again) with The Greatest American City

By Kelli

I love New York City! The energy of the city really makes me feel alive! The sights, the sounds and the smells……. I fell in love with the city as a young girl and have rekindled that love on a recent trip with my youngest son.

Before becoming a mom, I traveled there as often as I could taking in all the city has to offer- the shopping, the eating, the drinking, the museums, the tall buildings, the tourist attractions, the nightlife, the people watching, and the vibrant neighborhoods.

Last weekend I visited the city with my 2 yr old son- and I’ll admit I was a bit skeptical (and not just because of the 5 hour flight from LA.) On the surface, it doesn’t really seem like a place for kids- but I found it to be quite the opposite, and Jack had a wonderful time! Silly me, why wouldn’t my son love the greatest city in America?

Where else can you find an entire store selling only M&Ms with a giant flashing billboard of the green and purple chocolates, or a carousel inside the biggest toy store ever, or a policeman riding a horse down a busy street, not to mention the best cookies and pastries, or fire trucks with firemen wanting to stop and talk?

Ferry rides, elevators to the top of the world, subway tunnels, trains…..

People were friendly, local shop- keepers and street vendors were eager to give my son a cookie, banana or small toy….and a kid can be a noisy as he wants- no one notices.

What a wonderful weekend! I’m so grateful to have spent time with my son in the city I love. Hopefully when he’s older he’ll fall in love just as I did with the Greatest American City!

Déjà Vu All Over Again

My wife and I are either crazy or stupid or so self loathing that we feel we deserve to be punished. It must be that, right? How else would you explain it? Why on Earth but for any of the above reasons would anybody want to go through this again and so soon after the first time? Oh by the way, my wife and I are expecting our 2nd child. Thank you. Yes, it is very exciting. We’re thrilled. Sure. Whatever. It is said that the body and mind are able to block out memories of pain and misery. That must be true. If it weren’t, all families would only have one child. We would be a “single child” society. Maybe the Chinese are on to something after all. My wife is in the last weeks of her 1st trimester. She’s miserable, fatigued, nauseous, hormonal, oh and trying to raise a toddler on top of all that. It only gets better from here on out. Soon will come the heartburn, the restless nights, and the various physical ailments that accompany a pregnancy.
My wife will go through some of these symptoms too. Then it will all culminate in that “wonderful day” that I described in a blog a few months ago. Oh, but wait. There’s more. Just when we trained our first child to sleep through the night, here comes baby # 2 to carry the sleep deprivation torch. It’s time to get spit up on again and time to look forward to another 2 years of changing diapers. Now once the baby comes, our little boy will be 3 years old so I’m sure he’ll be able to take care of himself by then, yes? No, you say? In fact he’ll require even MORE attention so as not to incite any sibling jealousies? Oh great. So I have THAT to look forward to as well. We’ll be finding out the sex. I’m not sure I understand the “we want to be surprised” philosophy. There are enough surprises on the day your baby is born anyway so why not knock as many of them out as you can before hand? My wife and I want a girl. We would be happy with a healthy baby no matter what the sex ... but come on. Neither of us can handle another boy running around this house. We’re just barely able to keep this one from burning down the neighborhood, why would we want to unleash another Y chromosome onto the world?
Our little boy sees the potential though. The toddler Sith Lord needs his apprentice and knows that together they can rule the galaxy. He has stated very plainly that he wants a little brother. He has also made it clear that he wants us to name the baby “Braden”. We have assured him that while it is a beautiful name, it is also his name and things could get confusing around the house if we duplicated it. So, while we would love a little boy just as much, my wife and I are hoping for a girl. And then we’re hoping she’ll magically turn into a boy when she reaches high school. At least I am. So why do it? It’s not like it was forced on me. My wife didn’t suddenly leap across the bed and ambush me as I innocently read a book. (Believe me I would have loved it…) No, we actually tried to conceive another child on purpose and succeeded. In fact I am very proud to say that THIS time, we didn’t need any help from the medical industry.
Nope. All me, baby. A solo slam dunk with no time left on the clock.
Thank you. So why go through all of this again? The answer is simple. Why the hell not? I can’t go out anymore anyway, so I might as well raise another kid and get them all out of the house at the same time so I can go back to enjoying my life.
Okay that’s only part of it.
The truth is our little boy needs a sibling. He has friends, but he needs to be a big brother. He’s only two, but we can almost feel his loneliness. On a recent trip to the park he slid down the slide, looked around and shouted “Hello?!” to an otherwise empty playground. It was if he was saying, “this is only fun if I can share it with someone.” It’s heartbreaking to me when he wants to play with his toys and doesn’t have a playmate. Oh, shut up, I play with him plenty, okay? I just don’t have the energy of a 2 year old. I have the energy of a 37 year old that’s raising a 2 year old which amounts to… not a lot of energy. There are selfish reasons for having another child too. I got a little teary-eyed when I took his crib down and put him in his “big boy” bed for the first time this past month. It’s only been two years but I get very nostalgic when I look at pictures of my boy as an infant and how small he looked in my arms. I had been warned about how fast they grow up and while my son isn’t exactly borrowing the car or moving out of the house, I do feel like those early stages of life are past him. I’d like to experience them just once more. I’ll savor them a little longer this time. I promise. Then we’re done. Seriously. I don’t care how fast this one grows up. I’m not doing this any more.

The thrills of shopping?

By Kelli

Things used to be different. I’m not sure if it’s me- growing more impatient, because of limited time, or a hectic schedule, but I used to LOVE to shop. Didn’t matter for what, I always enjoyed myself- it was a hobby, a pastime and even a job (I got paid big bucks to shop for set decorators and costume designers.) Has poor customer service, long lines, lack of parking, predictability of the same generic merchandise and overall hassle just consumed our stores, or has it always been present and maybe I was different?

Regardless of whatever changes (or not) that have happened, I can’t stand shopping in stores. I am always irritable and cranky after shopping. My husband is now the appointed shopper, and when I must go, I always end up going back to the car before we’re done.

So, what do I do? I SHOP ONLINE AND I LOVE IT! I am able to find just about anything on the internet and have a wide choice of businesses to buy from. First, I always search for a family business selling what I need, and quite often, I can make my purchases from a mom or dad. I am also saving time and gas driving from store to store looking for that item I need, only to find that it’s out of stock, or the checkout lines are so incredibly long that I just leave my shopping cart full of merchandise.

Another benefit to shopping online that I recently discovered, is the availability coupon codes. Out of the last 5 purchases I made online, I was able to find a coupon for either a discount or free shipping for 3 of them. By doing a simple google search, you can find coupons for just about any business!

I love grocery shopping online. My local groceries send free shipping coupons in the mail at least once a month. My lists are saved online and I can add or delete from them, making it so quick and easy. The delivery driver even brings them to my kitchen counter!

I never thought I’d buy clothes online- but I do now, and I love it. Especially if it’s with a company I am familiar with and know the fit and quality. Rarely do I have an issue with an order and have to make exchanges. No more salespeople, bad lighting and cramped dressing rooms!

I try sometimes to convert others to my new found way of shopping and I’ll admit most people think I’m a bit strange never leaving the house to shop. But the way I see it, I’d rather spend my time at the beach or park with my family rather than standing in a long checkout line after settling on a product I really don’t want.

Here’s what I bought online last week:

Facial moisturizing lotion
Halloween costume for my son
Iron (not sure why we need this, but hubby requested a new one)
Vegetarian cookbook (from my favorite restaurant in Athens, GA)
Baby clothes
Printer ink

Is there anyone else out there like me?